Wedding RSVP and Response Card Etiquette
Wedding Invitation Response Card Wording and RSVP Timing
Sep 26, 2009
The date is set, the caterer has been booked, and the invitations are chosen. But what about those little RSVP notes, the wedding response cards? Is there a particular response card wording that every bride and groom should use? What RSVP etiquette should invited guests follow? What if people RSVP late?
Preparing the RSVP or Response Cards
Response cards used to be unnecessary – people handwrote their own responses to invitations and put them in the mail. But with ever-multiplying numbers of communication tools and devices, fewer people write letters (or keep the stationary to do so) than ever before, making response cards a normal and necessary part of the wedding invitation.
There's no "one right way" to word a response card, but there are several more common options. Except for the most casual weddings, where the invite might request that guests RSVP by phone, almost all wedding invitations include a small card that guests can use to RSVP. Respond cards wordings can be formal or casual, and will often include:
- Blank lines where guests write their names and how many will be attending
- Space for guests to add a personal note, if they wish
- A date by which RSVPs are needed
- A number on the back of each card (that match a numbered guest list) so that the bride and groom can trace illegibly written notes
- Pre-stamped envelope to make it easy for guests to reply promptly
Response cards should be included in the invitations to the parents of the bride and groom, and members of the wedding party, even though they aren't expected to respond. It's acceptable and normal to phone any guests who are more than a week tardy in sending their RSVPs in order to confirm the numbers. Be prepared – someone will always be late in replying, and there will always be last minute cancellations and changes.
Wedding RSVP Etiquette
For invited guests, on the other hand, there are etiquette rules that should almost always be followed. According to PhotoAffections.com, the following rules are a must for every guest who receives a wedding invitation:
- Always respond, if possible before the requested deadline; it's the courteous thing to do and can save your hosts from headaches later
- If you have to change your RSVP or cancel at the last minute, always let the bride and groom know as soon as possible
- Pay close attention how the wedding invitation was addressed – if it says "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" chances are that the children are not invited. Likewise, an invite that is addressed to "Ms Jones and Guest" is very different from one sent to just "Ms Jones." When in doubt, contact the hosts and politely ask whether a guest or the kids are welcome.
Wedding Response Card Wording
There isn't one response card wording that's better than others; the wording on the RSVPs will depend on personal taste and how formal the wedding will be. It's usually a good idea to visit a stationary store and read samples of the phrasings other couples have used in the past.
If giving guests the option to "accept with pleasure" or "decline with regret" sounds too stuffy and formal, try a line like "is/are looking forward to dancing the night away" or "will have to miss the party" for the wedding reception, or give guests the option to RSVP differently to the ceremony and the reception.
Source
- PhotoAffections.com, "RSVP Etiquette Tips," BrendasWeddingBlog.com, 27 August 2009.
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