Wedding ceremony seating is often an overlooked aspect of wedding planning. Most couples spend time planning the venue decoration, food preparation, motif, reception, and other details of the wedding that they forget to plan seating arrangement at the actual ceremony. Seating requires following certain rules of etiquette. Parents, grandparents, friends, attendants – where do you sit them? Here are the common practices and etiquette rules around seating at a marriage ceremony.
Wedding Ceremony Seating: Ushers
To put the seating order into practice more easily, assign some ushers. Wedding ushers can help ensure that guests don't just sit anywhere they want. Your groomsmen are a good option. To help them identify guests readily and point out the seats, you can ask a family member of the bride and the groom to point out the VIPs. Another option is to send a seat card to your guests along with your invitation. Upon their arrival, the guests simply have to show their card to the ushers.
Wedding Ceremony Seating: Choosing sides
In traditional Christian ceremonies, the bride's family sits on the left side of the church when facing the altar. In Jewish ceremonies, it's the opposite. In a civil ceremony, the guests will sit on wherever side on the bride or groom stands. However, if a guest has a preference for a particular side, they should be seated on the side they indicate. If the preference of the bride and the groom is balanced seating, ushers should politely explain that the guests are assigned seats that give them the best view.
Wedding Ceremony Seating: Who Sits Where?
- Immediate and extended family – The first four or five rows should be reserved for family members of the bride and the groom. (Tie ribbons across the rows if you do not have ushers to mark the seats as reserved). Immediate family should be seated before the ceremony begins. Mothers should be seated last, signaling the beginning of the ceremony. Grandparents should be seated in the second row, with grandmothers taking the seat nearest the aisle. Siblings can take the pew with the parents or grandparents, while aunts, uncles, and cousins can take the third and fourth rows.
- Parents – if attendants will not be seated during the ceremony, then parents should be seated in the first row. Otherwise, parents can take the second row. Mothers should be seated nearest the aisle.
- Divorced parents – If the divorced parents are in good terms, you can sit them next to each other as though they are still together. If they are not on speaking terms, then the mother should be seated in the front row and the father in the second row. Be careful not to sit them directly in front of each other. If one the ex-couple has remarried, he/she should be seated a few pews back. If there are other members of the family who do not get along together, you should let the ushers know as well to avoid sitting them beside each other.
- Elderly guests should be seated near the front, while guests on wheelchair should be seated at the end of a pew.
Wedding Ceremony Seating: Children
Small kids should be seated with their parents, who should be seated near exit aisles. This way, they can quietly escape when a child starts to create disruption.
As a final note, if you are not sure where to seat your guests (particularly your divorced parents), ask them if they'd like to sit next to each other or apart from each other. You should take sensitivity issues into consideration when planning the seating arrangement of your wedding. This will help avoid unpleasant surprises during the ceremony. The bride and the groom should enjoy every moment of this special day and not worry about family feuds or keeping the crowd in control.
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