History of Jewish Weddings
A Look at Weddings from Before Common Era to the 19th Century
Jul 22, 2009
Many Jewish marriage traditions began during Biblical Times. Though some faded away, new traditions began in the Middle Ages and 19th century.
In the Jewish religion, marriage has always been one of the most important steps a person takes in their life. Many Jewish wedding traditions began during Biblical times. Though some faded away, new traditions began in the Middle Ages and 19th century.
Jewish Weddings B.C.E.
- Choosing A Spouse: The parents chose who they wanted their child to marry. The bride was viewed as a purchase (mohar) from her parents by the parents of the groom to be with a dowry. The parents had to agree on the wedding arrangements before there would be a marriage.
- A Betrothal: Once a couple was decided on, they were betrothed. A betrothal was a symbol of the purchase made, but it meant that they were legally married. However, the two betrothed still lived with their parents until the marriage was consummated with a formal wedding.
- The Ceremony: Before a wedding ceremony, there were seven days of celebration. Their wedding was usually held outdoors. Then, after the wedding, there were more festivities, known as the “Seven days of feast”.
Jewish Weddings Early C.E. (0-1300s)
- Choosing A Spouse: Jewish woman were able to choose who they wanted to marry, and usually looked at the physical characteristics and social rank of the potential groom. Once the daughter made her decision, the parents would negotiate (similar to B.C.E.) a dowry to the bride’s father for his daughter. However, if the daughter was old enough, then she would make her own arrangements.
- A Betrothal: Similar to B.C.E., the two to wed were betrothed. Although no longer symbolizing a purchase, it was still a binding arrangement. Also, the phrase, Kadesh, appeared because of the changes to the meaning in betrothal and added a spiritual element to the arrangement.
- The Ceremony: Weddings were usually held on Wednesdays or Thursdays. A new tradition of bride’s putting garlands in their hair began. The only festivities held were after the wedding for the seven days.
Jewish Weddings in the Middle Ages (1400s-1700s)
- Choosing A Spouse: A new tradition, similar to B.C.E, was the use of matchmakers, a shadchon, to find and make negotiations for couples.
- Betrothal: During this time period, a betrothal lost its meaning and disappeared by becoming a part of the wedding.
- The Ceremony: An outdoor wedding was no longer the only option, and by the 15th century, synagogues came into use. The common ceremony days changed to Thursdays or Fridays. The Jewish musicians (klezmer/klezmorim) became more important to the wedding. There were still seven days of festivities after the ceremony.
Jewish Weddings in the 19th Century (1800s)
- Choosing a Spouse: A rabbi or shadchon set up marriages and romance marriages were rare. A new part of the negotiations included the dowry paid to the groom’s family (a reversal from biblical times).
- The Ceremony: A jester (bachon) became increasingly important during marriages. A wedding now had three ceremonies: bazetsens (seating of the bride) where the bride is seated and garlanded; badekens (covering the brides face) when the groom and rabbi cover the bride’s face with the veil and she is given blessings by guests; and the mazol-tov-dance (kosher dance) where each women in the wedding dance with the bride. A new custom began of two married people (unterfuerers) leading the bride and groom to the chupo, where they were married by an officiating clergyman. Instead of seven days of festivities, a husband took off a week from work.
Interesting Jewish Marriage Customs
- In the early days, if a son chose to marry below his class, his parents could disinherit him through a k’tsotso ceremony. Acceptable ages for marrying were 18-24 for men and 12-14 for girls.
- A custom began and ended during the medieval era in which woman had to cut off their hair and never expose their heads again in public.
- Acceptable marriage ages moved to 15-16 for girls, but those over 25 were considered “old maids.”
References:
- Schauss, Hayyim. The Lifetime of Jew: Throughout the Ages of Jewish History. Cincinnati: Union of American Hebrew Congregations, 1950.
- The_Revolution_of_Marriage:_Ancient
The copyright of the article History of Jewish Weddings in Wedding Traditions & Etiquette is owned by Jaclyna Perez. Permission to republish History of Jewish Weddings in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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